Men Jokes

82 year old man - Read on..
An 82 year old man marries an 18 year old woman, she becomes pregnant. The 82 year old man goes to the Dr. to see what the DR had to sa..

If Men made the Rules - Read on..
1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2. If y..

The 2 P's - Read on..
What's the difference between a penis and a prick?A penis gives hours of fun, and a prick owns the penis...

Women vs. Dogs - Read on..
Q: What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?A: If you let them both insid..

New scientific element : MAN - Read on..
Element Name: MANSymbol: XYAtomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily..

Ears lookin at you! - Read on..
A man with no ears is trying to find a new reporter for their news show. The first candidate walks in, and the boss says, "This job req..

About last night - Read on..
After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall t..

Men and blondes - Read on..
Why do men prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company...

Men at 35.. - Read on..
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children...

Black widow spiders - Read on..
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts...

men chasing women - Read on..
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...

what men hear when women speak - Read on..
What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothe..

why - Read on..
Why do only 10% of men go to heaven?Because if they all went it would be hell!..

50-50 relationship - Read on..
What do men consider a 50-50 relationship?We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle!..

blonde - Read on..
Why are dumb blonde jokes only one liners?So men can understand them!..

sperm - Read on..
Why does it take 100 sperm to fertilize 1 egg?Because men won't stop for directions!..

Men say the smartest things when... - Read on..
Men say the smartest things when they start the sentence with "A woman once told me..."..

Sewage, Oh no - Read on..
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.Police arr..

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy - Read on..
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have s..

Men Are Like Toilets.. - Read on..
Men are like toilets -- either they're taken, or full of crap!..

Men Don't Like Safe Sex - Read on..
What is a man's idea of safe sex? A padded headboard...

Computer Diagnosis - Read on..
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that ..

what would happen if your dog's... - Read on..
Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was Mypenis?- Mypenis ate my homework.- Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at..

All Aboard - Read on..
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.She heard the train sto..

Gonna Get Lucky - Read on..
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young ..

seconds to live - Read on..
Man walks into the Doctors office. "I have the results of your test and I'm afraid your going to die" Says the Doctor. The Man asks "Ho..

Friends - Read on..
Have you heard the one about the homosexual who wanted to enlarge the circle of his friends?..

The Wrong Way - Read on..
As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I jus..