Comedian Jokes

Trick or Treat - Read on..
I never actually grapsed the whole "Trick or treat" ultimatum.Giving candy to grateful, adorable children or receiving a bag of flaming..

Surgery - Read on..
I had my appendix removed. There was nothing wrong with it, I just did it as a warning to the other organs in my body to shape up or th..

HMO - Read on..
My HMO is terrible. They charge me for a self-examination.It's a flat fee.-Wendy Liebman..

Gas Stations - Read on..
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?-George Carlin..

Taxes - Read on..
The IRS says they can't give back 80 million dollars in refunds because they don't have addresses for the taxpayers. Yeah, they can't f..

IRS - Read on..
The IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two..

Psychic Phenomena - Read on..
Do you ever get the vuja day feeling? Not deja vu. This is vuja day: the strange feeling that none of this has ever happened before-Geo..

Protesting - Read on..
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.-Mitch Hedberg..

Escalators - Read on..
An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, just "Escala..

Environment - Read on..
The EPA is conducting a $700,000 dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans are in pow..

THe guy who invented the hokey pokey's funeral - Read on..
eariler this week i went to the guy who inveted the hokey pokey's funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in,then ..

Paddy - Read on..
I knew this guy. He was a sound guy from Ireland.He spoke to me one day and told me he was going to apply for a job.He told me that he ..

My Dog - Read on..
Having a dog is great, it's just the 'dog people' that freak me out. "Oh, look at her, she's precious,just like Mommy." Me?!? If I birt..

Gas Station - Read on..
Have you ever seen Pop Idol? One point it was held at an esso gas station.This irishman came on to do a song. He stoodnext to the diese..

Inflatable high heels - Read on..
I once met a dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date butunfortunately she'd popped her clogs...

Drown my troubles - Read on..
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my wife to go swimming!..

Pray for a bike - Read on..
When i was a kid i used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn't work that way, so i stole one and asked him t..

Marmite Competition - Read on..
I was in a good mood last week. I entered a competition and won a years supply of marmite.....one jar!..