Clean Jokes

Motherinlaw's Funeral - Read on..
A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you cry..

Mohammed and Douglas Adams - Read on..
Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common?A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head...

What's on your back? - Read on..
A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What..

Jump out of the plane! - Read on..
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and s..

irish ... light bulb joke - Read on..
How many Irishmen does it take to replace a light bulb?30, 2 to hold the light bulb and 28 to drink till the room starts spinning...

a nerd, a nude, and a bike - Read on..
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stun..

Death becomes nerd - Read on..
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on th..

10 Signs Your Amish Teen's In Trouble - Read on..
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.8. Shows up at barn raisin..

You Know You're Out Of College When... - Read on..
1. Your salary is less than your tuition.2. Your potted plants stay alive.3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.4. You keep more..

Accountants and Engineers on a Train - Read on..
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets an..

You know you drink too much coffee when... - Read on..
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails. 3. You can jump-start your car without cables. 4. Y..

How To Be Annoying (A Guide) - Read on..
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." Drum on every available ..

Top Ten Subtle Differences Between College And Hell - Read on..
10. It doesn't snow in Hell.9. Everyone has heard of Hell.8. It's more fun getting into Hell.7. You can't fail out of Hell.6. At least ..

45 Cool Things To Do In A College Dorm Shower Stall - Read on..
1. Enter the stall, shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"2. Enter the ..

50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator - Read on..
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers..

Proof That Santa Doesn't Exist - For Nerds! - Read on..
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, H..

.....olympics - Read on..
Why isn't Mexico in the olympics?...Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border....

Whats the diffrence - Read on..
whats the differance between a camera and a sock???A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes.....

A Son's Love - Read on..
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.His only son, who would have helped hi..

Chinese and Spielberg - Read on..
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes ov..

You're so dumb... - Read on..
You're so dumb, you stare at an orange juice can just because it says concentrate...

Bigfoot - Read on..
Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?He couldn't face defeet!!..

Had too much Christmas cheer? - Read on..
1. You know you have if you... notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissin..

Final Examination - Read on..
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they w..

Did you ever wonder? - Read on..
Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?If mone..

God vs Satan - Read on..
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman wo..

Math - Read on..
Why is math always sad?Because it has too many problems...

The Cow and the Chicken - Read on..
So there is a cow and a chicken. And the cow goes... Baak!Baak! LOL (why would a cow go baak!?!) LOLAnd... LOL...the chicken goes ...LO..