Celebrities

Solve the riddle - Read on..
Schwarzenegger has a big one,Michael J. Fox has a small one,Madonna doesn't have one,The POPE has one but doesn't use it,Clinton uses h..

Michael Jackson and the doctor... - Read on..
Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking outof the delivery room after his wife gives birthto their son. Michael says, "How long befo..

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? - Read on..
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play wit..

I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor... - Read on..
I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, "I'm doing surger..

What is blonde, has six legs, and roams... - Read on..
Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson'sdreams every night??A: Hansons...

Good news and bad news - Read on..
The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiouslyawaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's......th..

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter... - Read on..
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.Mother: "What does the cow say?"Child: "Moooo!"Mother: "Great! Wha..

Stick your tongue out... - Read on..
Stick your tongue out.Move it up and down.Relax.Now move it left and right.Well done! You have now completed Christopher Reeves workout..

Do the math - Read on..
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?..

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats... - Read on..
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "..

What's got 400 legs and no pubic hair? - Read on..
Q: What's got 400 legs and no pubic hair?A: The front row of a Hanson concert..

What's stiff and excites women? - Read on..
Q: What's stiff and excites women?A: Elvis Presley...

Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp? - Read on..
Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp? Everyone would be afraid to lick it...

What did Michael Jackson say when his cock... - Read on..
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?A: There is a great musician in you...

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? - Read on..
Q. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape...

Arnold Swartzeneger and Sylvester Stallone are making... - Read on..
Arnold Swartzeneger and Sylvester Stallone are making amovie about the lives of the great composers. Stallone says "I want to be Mozart..

Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? - Read on..
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood......

What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana? - Read on..
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana?One's composing, the other is decomposing...

Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what... - Read on..
Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may "commiserate". After a wild night of ..

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and... - Read on..
David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like toshow him a trick. "I will", replies a guy in the audience, "b..

Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter... - Read on..
Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, ..

Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with... - Read on..
Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles? It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 roun..

A definition of God - Read on..
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in th..

Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps... - Read on..
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.Homer: Why y..

What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife? - Read on..
Q: What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?A: Hey pal, mind if I cut in?..

Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? - Read on..
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing..

I went past a plastic surgeon's shop... - Read on..
I went past a plastic surgeon's shop the other day and saw Michael Jackson picking his nose...

What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal? - Read on..
What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch.....

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of... - Read on..
Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"?They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tong..

What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip? - Read on..
What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?He put it on...

Iraqi TV Guide - Read on..
Iraqi TV Guide MONDAY8:00 Husseinfeld8:30 Mad About Everything9:00 Suddenly Sanctions9:30 Allah McBealTUESDAY8:00 Wheel ..

What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? - Read on..
What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling...

What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called? - Read on..
What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called? Missionary Position Impossible...

What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today? - Read on..
What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?Scratching like hell to get out of that box...

What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life? - Read on..
What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life? Figuring out which parent is his mother...

Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men? - Read on..
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??He thought it was a delivery service...

What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss? - Read on..
What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss? Hang herself...

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? - Read on..
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? Neither has he...

Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"? - Read on..
Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"? 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, ..

Who's got long blonde hair and big tits... - Read on..
Who's got long blonde hair and big tits,and lives in Melbourne, Australia? Salman Rushdie...

Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson - Read on..
More Jesse news... Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of proc..

IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS - Read on..
IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girl..

What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds? - Read on..
Here's a gross one:What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns...

What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky? - Read on..
What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods...

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned... - Read on..
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turnedto an attendant standing nearby."This," she said, "I suppose, is one of thosehideous repre..

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream? - Read on..
Here's a lame one....What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!..

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? - Read on..
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?Bugs Bunny...

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? - Read on..
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?From a catalogue...

How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed? - Read on..
How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?When the big hand is on the little hand...

What do you call 5 dogs with no balls? - Read on..
What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?The Spice Girls!..

What was the last thing Di said to Dodi? - Read on..
What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?..

What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? - Read on..
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?They both live off dead Beatles...

What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick? - Read on..
What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?Hugh Grant...

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks... - Read on..
Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, G..

What do Viagra And DisneyLand have in common? - Read on..
What do Viagra And DisneyLand have in common?They both cause you to stand around for an hourwaiting for a two minute ride!!..

What do you call Batman and Robbin run over? - Read on..
What do you call Batman and Robbin run over?Flatman and Ribbon.Sent by Matias..

If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated... - Read on..
If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated, the resulting child would be:Anna Nicole Smith.Sent by Marisa..

What trivial fact about Mel Blanc... - Read on..
What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?He was allergic to carrots...

Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant... - Read on..
Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. "Superman don't need no..

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing? - Read on..
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out..

What's black and white and comes in little cans? - Read on..
What's black and white and comes in little cans?Michael Jackson..

Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect 10? - Read on..
Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"? Two 5 year olds...

BMW thinks of everything - Read on..
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.The pump attendan..

Sinatra's Obituary - Read on..
Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died.Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."..

Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead... - Read on..
Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% moreentertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s...

Three wishes - Read on..
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out. The first m..

Movie Ratings Explained - Read on..
G: Nobody gets the girl.PG: The good guy gets the girl.R: The bad guy gets the girl.X: Everybody gets the girl!..