Animal Jokes

Vampire Bat - Read on..
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pret..

Dog named Sex - Read on..
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I ..

Ant and Elephant have romance - Read on..
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One..

Difference between a cat and a dog... - Read on..
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me...

rabbits chased by wolf - Read on..
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned..

horse - Read on..
This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!..

bear and a rabbit - Read on..
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of y..

Do Elephants Ever Forget? - Read on..
Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money...

Elephants and Cell-Phones - Read on..
Q: Why don't elephants use cellular phones?A: So the rest of the world won't know their plans...

I'll have a Penguin; shaken, not stirred - Read on..
Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds...

A blind man in a store - Read on..
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his hea..

There are no dogs allowed here - Read on..
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" ..

Racoon Joke - Read on..
Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a car...

Seeing Eye Dog - Read on..
A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man's leg. Bending down, the blind man ..

Got Any Grapes? - Read on..
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. Th..

Grape and Elephant - Read on..
Q: What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?A: None. It just lets out a little wine...

Legion Camel #1 - Read on..
A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but t..

Legion Camel #2 - Read on..
A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him quarters, he asks the cor..

Legion Camel #3 - Read on..
A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the ..

Moles - Read on..
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.One day, the papa mole poked his head out ..

elephant sex - Read on..
Did you know that elephants actually have their sexual organs in their feet?Yup, if one steps on you, you're screwed...

King of the Jungle - Read on..
Three animals were having a hugeargument over who was the best.The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could ..

2 jokes - Read on..
What do u get if u cross bambi wit a ghost?BAMBOOWhat is a duck's favourite TV show?THE FEATHER FORECASTGET IT? hahaha..

Chucky goes to the movies - Read on..
An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"The old farmer said, "That's my ..

The three legged chicken - Read on..
A man was driving down a country road one day at 45 miles per hour when suddenly he noticed a 3-legged chicken running at the same spee..

CHICKEN - Read on..
Q:Why didn't the chicken cross the road?A: because he was a "chicken"...

The Bunny and the Snake - Read on..
Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were b..

The 2 Hunters - Read on..
These 2 hunters was hunting one day and this one hunter fainted. The other hunter didn't know what to do, so he called 911. When the pe..